Glitchable
by Glaerdrune
Summary: *So hey check out this Tin Man fic I wrote when I was eleven don't really * Post-Tin Man. Glitch always seems to get himself into trouble, and there's nothing more Cain would like than to leave him there.


Glitch sat there, staring deeply into his steaming cup of Mugrug.

'I'm just not sure. I'm just not sure. After I got my brain back I thought it would all be over, ' he put his zippered head in his hands, his grimy leather sleeves dipping into his soup, 'that I could be Ambrose again, b-b-bu-but-but I'm not. I have all his memories, it's like he-h-h-he's inside my head, but, you know, all...locked up. I-i-i-I-I know what he knows, but I can't _be_ him.' he sniffed, and took a sip of the now grey Mugrug. Cain, who had been sitting there pretending to listen, blinked.

'Why are you looking at me like that? Did I say something?' Glitch stared at him quizzically. 'You know, Cain, you're really really really really really re-'

Cain hit Glitch with the tree branch he kept in the grand hall specifically for this purpose.

'-ly depressing sometimes, like a grey cloud when it's about to rain. Can't you just once...are you even listening to me?'

'That's interesting. I'm just going to go see what DG and Jeb are up to.'

He sighed. 'Oh, _honestly_ Cain, ever since they got engaged you've been so overprotective of them both. I don't even know-'

'You don't know much, that's true.'

Glitch stared, open-mouthed.

'That _hurt_. That _hurt_. That _hurt._ That _hur_-'

Again with the stick.

'Ow! That hurt!'

'I really don't have time for this, Glitch. I gotta go.'

Cain got up and walked off down the large hallway, leaving Glitch alone, glaring after him.

'He has issues.' Glitch sighed to himself, and went off to find someone else to talk to.

In the wrong direction.

DG was riding her motorbike. Well, the closest thing to a motorbike that Glitch could create in between his capers at the palace. She was being chased by a couple of royal (and annoyed-looking) guards.

**Some things you just can't leave behind.**

Jeb was sitting uncomfortably behind her, a slightly greenish tinge to his face.

'Ccccannnn wwwwe ppppppleaseeee gggettt offff nnnowww?'

'Aren't you having fun?'

'Ffffunnn? I'veee nnneverrrr beennn more fffrightened in mmmy lllife!'

'Oh, don't be such a spoil-sport! Come on! Enjoy the ride! Uh-Err...oh dear.'

Jeb panicked.

'Oh dddearrrrr? Whadddda you mmmeann, oh dearrr?!'

'I forgot to fuel this thing before we got on.'

'I tttthoughttt it ran on mmmmagic!'

' Exactly.'

'Oh.'

The motorbike coughed and spluttered, grinding to a halt just as the guards caught up with them. Cain was at the head. He immediately grabbed Jeb by the scruff of the neck and began talking to him. His voice had already passed shouting and was way over the other side. Jeb looked over to DG, then looked back at him defiantly.

'What do you think you're up to? Getting the princess in danger like that. You should be ashamed of yourself.'

'Getting her in danger?! She was _driving_ the damned thing! I didn't even _want_ to leave the palace!'

DG sighed, exasperated. 'Cain. He didn't do anything wrong. We were just having a little fun.'

'You two could have been killed.'

'Was I?'

'That's not the point-'

He was interrupted by the Queen, who'd come running when she heard what her daughter had been doing.

'DG, this is no way an heir to the throne should behave! Oz does not want a Monarch who is never satisfied!'

'Well, if that's what they want, they might as well have Glitch on the throne!'

'Do **not** insult Ambrose like that. He would make a far better King than you would a Queen, if you insist on acting like this.'

Cain looked horrified, utterly against the notion. He tried to imagine _King_ Glitch. His imagination fizzled, gave up and walked away.

DG was enraged by the way her mother would say something like that. _Glitch has had only half a brain for the past fifteen years, after all,_ she thought, _how could he make a better ruler that me?_ But in her head, she knew her mother was right.

'You just wait until I tell your father, young lady. I am sure he will not be too happy about this.'

'But mother-'

'No buts princess! As Captain of the Royal Guard (Cain said this with some pride, and his son rolled his eyes) I am confiscating this..._ machine_,' he spat the word out, much preferring to resort to his guns than one of Glitch's inventions 'until such time as your father grants you permission to continue usage of it.'

**Swift Author's Note: I see Cain and Glitch's relationship as some sort of a 'friendly hate' relationship, _not_ Romeo and Juliet, thankyou very much. Ok, I'm done. I'm going now, so carry on reading the story. Go ahead. Read. Now.*twitch* I _said_, carry on reading. _Right_ now. I mean it! I'm watching you...**

***poof***

'Cain! Mother, tell him he can't do this-'

'I am afraid he can, darling. It is for your own good.'

'Fine! Come on, Jeb.'

DG and Jeb stormed off, arm in arm, in the direction of the palace.

Meanwhile, Glitch was cross-legged, rubbing his knee where he had bumped into a wall. Raw was trying to meditate.

'No! I said right foot, right foot, left left left!'

_Croak._

'No, I am _not_ being too hard on you Frederick.'

_Ribbit-wraaaack._

'Oh, you didn't...I do _so_ have rhythm! Watch!'

Glitch got up and demonstrated his technique, his long leather coat squeaking with the movement. He did a complicated twirl and accidentally bumped into Azkadellia clicking down the corridor.

'Hey Glitch. Say, what exactly are you _doing_ with that frog I was _supposed_ to dissect?'

'What frog?'

'The one on your shoulder.'

'Huh? There's no fr-Oh. Sorry Frederick. I forgot you were there. I forgot you were there. I forgot you were there.'

'What on Oz_ are_ you doing?'

'Well...I'm inserting brain-stimuli through his right cerebral cortex and occipital lobe and hoping to achieve his acknowledgement in the art form of two individual atoms in adjacent, parallel or obtuse conditions partaking in random movement and colliding with each other to create thin sound waves with a high frequency and volume, on a much larger scale, in order to...'

'Wha...'

'I'm teaching him to tap dance.'

'Ah. Well, good luck with that.'

_You too._

'What Glitch?'

'Nothing, _shut up Frederick!_ nothing...'

'Err...okay then. By the way, have you seen DeeG lately?'

'She went for a ride with Jeb.'

'She _what?_ Can't wait to see mother's face when she gets back! Not to mention Cain's!'

'I'm rather looking forward to that myself.'

Az pretended not to hear the rather _Ambrosian_ remark; she liked Cain. She preferred him to Glitch any day. Cain didn't leave his undergarments out to dry on her windowsill.

'Bye Glitch.'

And she ran out of the room, calling behind her 'Oh yeah! Ahamo (Glitch sniggered) is looking for you!'

And with that she was gone. Glitch said bye to Raw, who didn't notice. He was in his 'happy place'.

After the formal meeting with Ahamo, which mainly consisted of Ahamo explaining the problems with the architecture of the OZ in detail and Glitch saying 'A homo' under his breath and giggling uncontrollably, Glitch went off into the palace gardens. Cain, the Queen, DG, Jeb and Frederick were all talking. Unfortunately, no one paid any attention to Frederick.

Everyone stopped and stared at Glitch skipping towards them.

'Hey, guys! I've just invented something! It's a vocal-activated helium-filled compressed rubber flight generator. Watch!'

They all stared as Glitch started singing what sounded like 'The Ride of the Valkyries'.

'Dum dum dum-dum dum dum, dum dum-dum dum dum...'

To everybody's surprise, Glitch actually started to float upwards. He went up, and up, and up, until all they could hear was a faint whisper on the wind. No one noticed Frederick flying up with his own little balloon pack. _Dum dum dum-dum dum dum..._

Suddenly, there was a slight squeaking noise, a slowly approaching 'Oh, _dear_. Oh, _dear_. Oh _dear_.', and Glitch came crashing down on top of Cain.

'Gerroff me youff iffiot!' came the muffled complaint. The Queen smiled. DG laughed. Jeb was in tears.

Glitch stood up and shook himself. Then he helped up Cain and, seeing the look of **utter rage** on his face, cautiously dusted him off.

'Still, kinda, working out the kinks. You see, I know how to go _up_, it's the _down_ part that always gets me stumped.'

No one saw Frederick drift gently downwards. _...mud mud mud-mud mud, mud mud mud-mud muD]_

DG and Jeb were at a fair over in the OS.

The Queen herself couldn't go, because she was in a _particularly _difficult meeting with the leader of the Papay, and Ahamo was busy negotiating with some important people in Central City. Cain and Glitch (who'd brought along Frederick for a Foreign Lands lesson, because all his Ambrosian days of lecturing the young princesses weren't forgotten. **Old habits die hard**.) had been sent on the job instead. The flaw in this plan went entirely unnoticed by the Queen, and she even dismissed Cain's avid protests for nerves, since he'd never been over to the OS before.

So now Cain was stuck in a new place, with new people and new sights and new smells, accompanied by an utter idiot possessing the attention span of a disembowelled goldfish. And it was getting to him.

'Glitch, no! Don't touch that! It could be dangerous!'

Glitch raised an eyebrow. 'It's a stuffed toy, Cain.'

'You don't know that!'

Glitch waited for the usual 'you don't know anything' line, but it never came. Cain was obviously so worked up.

'It could be one of their incredible instruments of unimaginable torture!' Cain cried, and then, under his breath 'Not that _any_ torture could compare to being stuck with _you_ in this hellhole.'

'Hmm-What was that, Cain?'

'What was what?' he asked nervously, and resorted to a tactic that never failed to work on Glitch. Distraction.

'Oh, look Glitch. A toy crane.

'I know! Isn't it brilliant? Hey, that's kinda like the ones in Central City, isn't it? And you remember that machine with the weird lady with six arms and a trouble with directions that was actually worse than mine who inadvertently got us captured and me a bruise on my noggin from that guy who didn't like me and then Toto ran away and that guy stole your hat and we had to walk off and that scary Longcoat with the makeup on winked at you and you kicked him where it hurts and...

And...

...

...Hey, Cain, got any money on you? Or could you do that trick like you did on that machine with the weird lady with six arms and a trouble with directions that was actually worse than mine who inadvertently got us captured and me-Cain? Hey, Cain! Ca-oh, look at that!'

Glitch had found another treasure to delight himself with, and so had not noticed that Cain was now Somewhere Else. Actually, he'd backed away slowly, taken off his hat and was currently hitting his head on a brick wall, repeatedly asking 'Why me?', but that's not the point.

**Glitch was _lost in the other side._**

Cain composed himself, thought for a moment, and decided that the Queen probably would not understand if he 'misplaced' Glitch. Then turned around to find that he'd gone.

'Oh, where has that headcase wandered off to now?' Cain muttered.


End file.
